spacecadet:

Stuff you could get away with saying on a kid’s show in the 90s, part II

danishotasfire:

agentwoshington:

agentwoshington:

ok but there was a bus filled with potatoes driving around my town today

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ireland u need to chill

pyropotter:

You are angry about something. “Clam down,” I text you. You assume I have made a typo, but in fact I am holding a small soldier clam in my hands. He died so young. War is hell

All my friends are forward thinking: getting hitched and quitting drinking.

I can feel them pulling away as I resign to stay the same

mystiquemonique:

Fave snap fo life

literallytrash:

itssexualhour:

My parents are both pastors and once I was fucking this one dude who’s dad was the pastor of the rival church and he whispered ‘talk biblical to me’ so i started reciting Psalms  23 and we ended up getting into a competition of who could recite the most bible versus before they cummed

you need less jesus

trait:

when you meet a canadian and start a conversation

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ryanvallejo:

ah yes my stop